Let’s Talk Movies: Resident Evil: Afterlife

Prepare yourselves, another Resident Evil movie is upon us. Based on the popular video game franchise, this is the fourth installment in the movie series.The opening of the movie featured the clones of the heroine Alice (Milla Jovovich) attempting to kill Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts). She fails but survives. Following her failure, the movie shifted focus to her search for Arcadia, a mysterious refuge for any survivors of the apocalypse. After finding a group of survivors trapped in a prison, she finds Arcadia, but not everything is as it seems.

If that paragraph didn’t make sense to you, you’ve been lucky enough to not have seen the other movies in the franchise. And, this brings me to the criticism that without having seen the previous installments, you will likely have no idea who these people are, what happened to Earth, or why you should care.

Basically, the zombie apocalypse has ruined Earth and the Umbrella Corporation, chaired by Wesker, was to blame. Now that the summary is out of the way, let’s get down to why this movie sucks.

The plot jumps all around with a very odd pacing. You’ll get two minutes of super, over-the-top action, including repetitive and stupid slow motion, followed by long periods of awkward inaction.

Throughout the movie, the CGI is hokey. It looks like someone gave the Syfy channel a budget for one of their movies, but instead of spending it on effects, they bought energy drinks and pixie sticks, which could explain why the movie jumps around so sporadically.

Speaking of effects, the 3D wasn’t bad, but wasn’t too good either. The main problem was the decision to show something flying at the screen every minute or less. I tried counting the sheer number of things that flew at my face, and I lost count after 75. So the use of 3D fell into the ‘This Movie is going to be Terrible, so let’s add 3D to Make More Money per Ticket” category instead of “Let’s Push Technological Boundaries.”

I know this is not the movie to see if you want Oscar hopefuls, but every character was a stiff, cardboard cutout of what you get from the game franchise. For Wesker, it makes sense, but not for any of the other main characters. However, for being a stiff, Wesker can dodge bullets like a pro; unfortunately, that skill doesn’t translate to dodging knives. Let me clarify he can dodge knives kicked at him, but he can’t dodge someone trying to stab him.


I mean, I can see it happening once; it would be a “Fool Me Once, Shame on You” thing.

But, twice?

At least I learned something during this movie. If ever assaulted by a superhuman who has mastered martial arts and can dodge bullets, calmly walk towards him with a knife and gently caress it into his cranium.

Avoid this movie like the plague. Every time something is done right in “Resident Evil Afterlife”, ten things are butchered.

I think I should try to end on a high note: it wasn’t as bad as “The Last Airbender” by M. Night Shyamalan. Speaking of which, check out next week’s column when I will review Shyamalan’s “Devil”. Oh joy.

Final Grade: D-

MPAA Rating: R