Listen, elevator abusers

Dear fellow elevator users,I have my usual morning routine. After my first class, I enter the RUC on the ground floor, check my mailbox and take the elevator The Oracle office on the third floor.

Am I lazy? Sure because I am perfectly capable of taking the stairs, and the elevators are meant for people who aren’t capable of using the stairs or for people moving large items.

The reason I starting taking the elevator is the same reason most of you probably don’t know there is a third floor of the RUC: no one staircase goes from ground to third. There are stairs from ground to second. There are stairs from first to third. But for some reason, no set of stairs covers all the floors, meaning stair users have to switch staircases to go from ground to third. When on the first floor, I’m more likely to take the stairs, since they go directly to third.

But my laziness at avoiding one set of stairs then crossing the building to take a second set of stairs is superseded by those who take the elevator to go up (or worse, down) one floor.

Really, one floor? That big spiral staircase from ground to first is too much to handle even though I just watched you sprint over to the elevator before the doors shut? There is barely time for that awkward elevator silence before you hop off 8 seconds later. And then someone else gets on there to go up one floor.

You’re not carrying anything heavy, usually just a phone, which you get frustrated at when the service goes out after the doors close. (Hint: service doesn’t go out on the stairs.)

What should be a mundane 20 seconds of my life becomes an irritating few minutes as the doors open and close and open, and stay open because you’re pressing the door open button for your friend who is finishing a text before entering.

I stand in the corner so as not to get in the way of the bustle. I wonder why you don’t use the stairs, especially when you turn to me and complain about how old and rickety the elevator is. I am aware that each time I use elevators in the RUC, I stand a risk of getting trapped. Statistically, I’m probably due for it to jam with me inside. So if you see me on there, take the stairs.

You are also the one who hits the second floor button before saying, “Oh, I meant first,” meaning I get to stop on an extra floor for absolutely no reason. Did you really forget where the caf was, or are you just button happy?

But I suppose I have to thank you, annoying elevator abusers, because when I see you gathered, waiting for two or three minutes for that one-floor ride when the stairs would have taken 15 seconds, you encourage me to avoid you and just take the stairs.