Change is inevitable. Change is terrifying. Change is exciting.
As I enter into a new phase of my life, I cannot picture what my life will look like a year from now. I have no idea of where I will be working or living. What city will hold my attention? What will my house look like? Will I even have a house?
If I had to guess, most graduating seniors are going through some type of metamorphosis similar to mine, but I choose to be more loquacious about this inevitable change than others.
It’s weird to confidently talk about your fears in a matter-of-fact way, but I’m doing it daily. I’m scared I won’t have a job when I graduate. I’m scared of being another statistic with a useless college degree. I’m scared I’ve peaked in college. While I know most of these thoughts are not true, there is a lingering what if thought in my mind as my plans fail to come together. What if…
Most of my friends have watched me search for a job with, so far, no avail. This is unchartered territory for me. I don’t equate unemployment to failure, but employment upon graduation was a goal for me that I failed to meet.
I leave college with the unknown surrounding me, and each day it consumes another piece of my future. It’s quickly approaching, and I have no means to stop it.
Even more, I leave Cookeville. I’m leaving the place that has captivated my attention for the past three years. In a way, I feel like I’m leaving my home against my will. It’s like going to summer camp; you love summer camp and never want to leave, but when all your friends leave, you’re ready to leave too. That’s how I feel about Cookeville. I’m old, as far as college is concerned, and my friends are leaving or have left. It’s time for me to leave and move to the next step.
Although this change is terrifying, and I have no control over my, what seems to be, impending doom, I enjoy the unknown. I enjoy having last minute plans, because those plans are the ones that work out the best. Yes, part of me wants to have my life planned out and detailed to the minute, but the other, more dominant side, wants nothing more than to experience the unknown and embrace it fully.